Wednesday 12 December 1190

It is dawn and another day begins. I live a rather simple life. I have few possessions and I lack riches to distract me from my duties as a mother and wife. It is not my choice to be a serf. Due to my ancestry I belong to the lower class. In order to survive I am forced to work long hard days at home and in the fields. Marc, my husband, does not realize that I am a crucial component to the success and survival of our family. Unfortunately, I was married to him at the age of 13. Our parents decided that it was time for us to be married. Due to financial reasons it was difficult for our parents to take care of our basic needs.

We rise from our bed. In it remains our three sleeping beauties. Our daughters sleep soundly with peaceful expressions on their faces. I look around our house as Marc hurriedly dresses in his work clothes, made of romagnolo. During the month of December there is much threshing and winnowing to be finished. He cannot be late for work. This would greatly displease the lord and have devastating effects on our family.

I tend to the fire, gently poking it to intensify its flames. Next, I prepare the breakfast gruel. I add a touch of cinnamon and sugar to add variety to this lifeless dish. We only own two pots for cooking. I use one of them to make this meal.

We quietly eat our breakfast. Marc leaves for work. I remain in our cozy cottage with our three children. As they sleep I sweep the floor, and put everything in the house in order. I must start the joyous task of my morning chores. There is always much to be accomplished. The cow needs to be milked, the calf needs to be tended to, and the milk must be strained. The children have to be awakened and dressed. This process can be simply exhausting. It is a job that I must complete. Sometimes I wish that I could exchange places with Marc just for one day. Then I would be able to escape the restrictions placed upon a housewife during this century.

Soon after my morning chores are finished I began to prepare lunch. Lunch consisted of bread, and cheese. Marc returned home for this midday meal. He never once has thanked me for all of the work that I have finished. He remarks that I haven’t accomplished much yet. I am becoming upset with him. He says that he can’t believe that all of my chores are not finished. After lunch Marc returns to his fieldwork.

I am occupied for the rest of the afternoon with various activities. Today I decided to attend the market. I admired many of the items for sale. I was able to buy a pail to hold water. We were in desperate need of a new one. Hopefully, Marc wouldn’t think that I was foolishly spending our money. When I got back to our house, I realized that I was not going to be able to fix a decent dinner. I accidentally spent the money set aside for today’s dinner.

Thursday 13 December 1190

I was very slow in rising today. It was chilly, so I tried to dress warmly. I picked an ordinary woolen dress and a linen undergarment. I wrapped myself in a wool mantle. It was a crisp and cool December day. Marc had already been awake for nearly an hour. Our small house was beginning to be filled with heat from the fire. We decided to eat yesterday’s bread. I enjoyed the uninterrupted quiet time this morning. I gazed silently around our small house. It is only one room. In it there is a kitchen area with the fire and a few cooking tools. There is a large bed that my whole family shares. It is nearly six feet wide. We have two tables. One table is for meals and the other serves all purposes. Our house is quite small and has very little furniture. Marc and I have a very simple life, but at least we have the basic necessities to live.

After waking and dressing the children, they ate a meager breakfast. I began to start a few of my morning chores. Today I was able to feed the pig and the poultry. Next, I had the joyous task of filling the muck-wain, and driving the plough. While completing this chore I realized that hay needed to be made. Also, the corn was in need of reaping. I prepared a simple lunch and talked with Marc about his morning at work. I decided that later this afternoon I will send some corn and malt to the mill. This way I can brew ale whenever I am available.

I decided on having bread and milk for dinner. I feel as if I can never get ahead with any of my housework. There is always a meal to be cooked or cleaned up after. I wish that I could get Marc to help me just once in a while. I am completely exhausted. I have been becoming increasingly tired and depressed lately. I feel as if I have been drained of all of my inner energy and passion for life. I don’t know if Marc has noticed how melancholy I have been in the last few days. My few female friends are worried that I will do something irrational. All Marc cares about is the temperature of his dinner. Not once has he offered to care for our three young daughters. I hope that I am always here to care for them. If something were to happen to me I would fear for their lives. I realize that Marc works extremely hard for the lord. Our landlord controls our lives. Marc has to work for this man a set number of days each year. We are typical tenant farmers. We must give a large portion of our crops to our landlord to pay for rent and a number of other obligations. It is pathetic that we cannot leave our lord’s land without permission. If we ever encounter a problem we are not able to attend an actual court. Instead we are forced to go to the manoral court, which is run by our lord. It is useless to try reasoning with the lord. Many previous attempts have failed. Changes in our way of life are destined to be failures.

I dream about a trip in which Marc and I can take our daughters into Paris to see this wondrous city. Of course we couldn’t even consider a real journey like this. We are not allowed to leave our land. Our feudal lord would immediately find us in contempt of our contracts. I believe that the marital problems that Marc and I have are due to the strictness of this system. If we just had a few hours once a week to enjoy ourselves, our life together would be more bearable.

I continued my afternoon chores until Marc arrived home from work. I noticed that the girls are really starting to grow up. Soon they will be able to help with the housework. I can teach them all the tasks that are essential to being the wife of a serf. They must learn to do a variety of tasks before their marriages are arranged.

We eat dinner. I clean up the mess while Marc goes off to bed. I do a little spinning on my wheel. The girls run wildly around our house. Marc grows increasingly angry. He is always so serious. He never has any fun with the children. I fear that the girls will grow up loathing the man that they call their father.

Friday 14 October 1190

This morning a terrible argument arose right before breakfast. Marc and I fought terribly. We discussed a separation. I told him that I was unhappy with him. I stated the numerous grievances that I had against him. I told him that I felt like our land was controlling our lives. Even if we did separate there would be no way for us to leave our tenure. He became very upset. I told him that I feel like it would be the best for both of us. Marc stormed out of the house.

I allowed our children to sleep late today. I needed to go to the market to sell some products that I had been making all week long. I brought butter, cheese, and milk with me in order to sell for a small profit. I returned just before lunch and found my house full of tearful daughters. They told me that their father had returned home for lunch. Since I was not there he told the children that he might not return. He packed his bags and left without saying goodbye to anyone but his daughters.

I was delighted to hear this wonderful news. Now I wouldn’t have to put up with my husband. The only problem will be paying the bills. I told my daughters about the situation and they couldn’t understand why I was so joyful. I told them that maybe someday they would understand the pain I had to go through living with their father. We had a stew and some hard bread for lunch. After lunch was cleared away I began to replenish our butter and cheese supply. I didn’t stop with this job until dinnertime. My daughters and I finished off our stew. I decided to catch up on my sewing this peaceful night. I diligently worked past dusk.

Saturday 15 December 1190

Today a man sent by our lord awakened me. He told me that there was work to be done in the fields. Due to the fact that my husband did not show up for work I needed to take his place. I quickly dressed in one of my dresses, and wrapped myself up in my woolen cloak. I told my eldest daughter about the change in plans. She said that she could help dress and feed her younger sisters. Also, I asked her to begin the laundry. She needed to wash and wring all of the dirty clothing. I thanked her and departed for the work in the field.

This day was unending. My back ached and my head throbbed. I have never had to do such physical labor. We barely stopped for lunch. I worried about my daughters who remained at home all alone. I realized that there are no good reasons to be a serf. I live a life of misery. The life of a serf is a hard and difficult life with no benefits. I began to worry about paying our rent. With Marc no longer at home I dreaded paying it. I tried to remember the cost of the last month’s rent. I hoped that I would be able to pay this month. This has always been a worry, but it was a problem that Marc normally faced. Now I have to face it alone.

I returned home around dinnertime. My girls had prepared dinner. I ate a delicious piece of chicken with steaming hot bread. I hungrily ate all of my meal, and then heated water for our Saturday night baths. We bathed and then quickly went to bed. My day had been exhausting. I eagerly looked forward to the Sabbath. I desperately needed a day of rest and relaxation.

Sunday 16 December 1190

We woke before dawn, and dressed awkwardly in the darkness. Our tiny house slowly grew warmer. This day was supposed to be a day of rest. We quickly walked to our village church. I had looked forward to this service all week. My religion is an extremely important aspect of my life. I have tried to instill its importance in my daughters. Marc never enjoyed mass. He thought that it was too lengthy and uninteresting. This is one of the many subjects about which we disagreed.

The priest spoke of spiritual awakening and forgiveness. I felt that he was directly speaking to me about my recent difficulties. I decided that it would be best to forgive Marc. He had worked so hard for our family. I had to understand that he had given up a lot of his time and happiness in order to allow our family to survive. At the end of mass I left with a feeling of peace. I no longer detested my husband. I decided that I needed to keep him in my daily prayers.

We returned home from church hours later and ate cold leftovers. The Sabbath is not a day for cooking. I spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying the company of my dear daughters. We danced, sang, and laughed all afternoon long. We enjoyed every minute of this day. Before dinner we prayed together for their father. I learned a useful lesson in mass today. People should forgive others for their imperfections. No one is perfect. We must learn to understand this idea.